My hand turned me down
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
