Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
