Plan B is the new Plan A
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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