he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
