Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I need to stop coming to work sober
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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