Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
