and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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