a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
