fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
