If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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