I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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