barbara walters just said penis...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
