yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
