oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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