can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How naked do you want me to be?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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