Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
