i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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