woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
