...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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