I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
