How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
