I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
