Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
