oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
