dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
