Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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