we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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