this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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