My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
handjob tips. give me some.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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