guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
