singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she smelled like a LAN party
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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