wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
