Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
