I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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