I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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