i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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