I don't think brook has ever known best
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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