are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
