Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
