At least make sure they are 18
Why
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
