This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize