Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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