Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Mom said you looked used
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
