And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
