Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
