you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You're like the curious george of whores
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
