I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize