WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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