the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
