and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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