I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
