I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize