Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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