Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
