brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
