That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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