I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
