Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
